WEIRDLAND: My Brick "Outtake"

Saturday, March 10, 2007

My Brick "Outtake"

After my take on "Brick" a literary insomniac vein made me write another scene inspired in the "Brick"'s story and characters. Its title is "10 out of 10":

"Jerr's girlfriend got a peep at Brendan at "Coffee Pie" while he visibly fluttered uncomfortable on his seat, until she decides going straight to him for a chat.

-Hi, Brendan, you look tired... -He shrugs bored staring at his table- More than usual...
Brendan breaks his silent mood and his lips curl forming a grimace that she mistakes for a smile.
-Hello, Becky. Do you come to pick your bunk coffee?
She nods and sits in front of him.
-I won't take coffee. It's bad for my diet. When I called you the other night, Brendan, I told you the truth about Jerr. I never suspected that he was such a tweaker.
Brendan orders the waiter a pair of colas and tries to look Becky in the eye, firmly.
-He was just a ripped sneak, your darling. I had to block his poison on time.
She wovens nervously her hands. Her nails are coloured in red, but their polish lacquer is chipped.
-I never -she continues- suspected of his adventure with Emily. Not until I found her photo inside his wallet.
-And have you brought the snap?
She nods mechanically and takes out of a notebook's pages a small picture.
-So she had a flirt with Jerr -her lips are distended now.
-No duh! -almost hissing.
-But some pieces don't fit -trying to verbalize her anger.
The waiter serves them two glasses of Cola. Brendan takes a first sip feeling a pleasant caffeine boost.
She grabs her glass as if suddenly she was dehydrating and drinks half of her cola.

-But you never stopped loving her...
-No -distant.
-Even after her death...
-What do you want?
-Nothing. Just giving you this picture... -she passes the snapshot to him.
Brendan picks it delicately, holds it close to his face, looking at her lovely mysterious features.

-It's sad -Becky mumbles- She was so beautiful.
Brendan keeps the picture in his pocket carefully and then stands up, broody.
-Are you bailing out on me? Not even are you going to thank me?
-Thank you, Becky, but I'm not the running-drag type.
And he accelerates his way out of the local, while she, hastily, walks after him, a little clumsy on her high-heel shoes.

-I never understood what made Em so special.
Brendan turns around and hesitates before replying her.
-Why are you interested? Jerr didn't sell me out. Simply bad luck.
-I'm not a bimbo, please, convince me that all has been a bad dream... -she maunders at this point.
Brendan's attitude is brittle and aloof.
-Emily met me here the first time -pointing at the sprightly grass

She got lost on her way and got late to our first date -he mussitates- But I didn't mind. She came running, with sweat ruining her makeup, so when she held me in her arms, she was worn out, breathless.
-Did you kiss her, in that day?
-When she held me in that way, it was me who stopped breathing.
-I see... -she inclines her head down, ashamed.
-Don't feel moded, Becky.
-Listen, when I met Jerr, he wasn't riding the white horse, then he changed, he was always searching for something, what were they searching, Brendan? -her eyes widen, afraid of finding out the answer.
-Don't you know it? -he gives her a sphinx look.
-No. Maybe... her brick? -slowly spelling the words.
-Maybe -answers Brendan- Or maybe it all was a fraud -he pauses- And she isn't dead, and it was me biting the big one.

-And she ran away to hide in another place -Becky follows his talk entranced as if bespoken.
She approaches to Brendan and whispers to him:
-Lie to me.
-She's not dead -he repeats squeezing Becky.
-She's not dead -negates with her head -She's with you, at your side (starts to cry silently).
The pieces of his brain shatter, Brendan quivers while her voice is loading.
-Kiss me, Brendan.

His heart explodes inwards, like a faulty cheap Cola can at the moment her lips press his mouth. And Brendan knows the girl of the picture inside his pocket is Becky."

2 comments :

Anonymous said...

^^ Ditto.

Elena said...

Thanks, now I'll take a bunk coffee.