WEIRDLAND: Cracking jokes

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Cracking jokes

"So, you're in a happily committed relationship, right? And you're certain that your girlfriend is really into you, right?

Or maybe-just maybe-you're not that certain. Luckily, you can tell a lot about a girl by her movie star crushes. "My girlfriend doesn't have one of those," you might be saying. Uh huh. Just for fun, go take a look through her DVD collection. Do you notice how there are eight films starring James Spader? Connect the dots, dude.

Below, we've provided a handy list of Hollywood studs; why your lady fantasizing about them is a blessing in disguise; and why it might not be, either.Jake Gyllenhaal and/or Heath Ledger Why It Bodes Well: They starred in Brokeback Mountain, which pretty much makes them gay, doesn't it?

Why You're Screwed: Whoops. Nope, it doesn't make them gay at all. It just makes you insensitive and homophobic for thinking it. And now you're probably going to have to make out with some dude just to prove that you're not. On a happier note, this can now be your excuse if your girlfriend catches you making out with some dude". Source: www.cracked.comREESE WITHERSPOON
People' Scoop: "Broad and high forehead signifies imagination and creativity. Brows with little arch are typical of a person who thinks things through before acting." (p. 82)
The Ugly Truth: Less typical of a person who thinks things through before acting: getting knocked up by Ryan Phillippe.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL
People' Scoop: "M-shaped hairline means he' attractive to women. Thick eyebrows with little arch is a sign of energy and passion. Narrow jaw means he thinks for himself instead of relying on others' ideas and opinions." (p. 84)
The Ugly Truth: Boyish smile means he will not hesitate to make sweet, sweet love to your girlfriend while she's in LA for a bachelorette party. Source: www.cracked.com

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