WEIRDLAND: Shallow rambling

Monday, March 16, 2009

Shallow rambling

I didn't have any intention of alluding to this personal story of mine, since many can consider it as shallow rambling, but I haven't been able to sleep too well these last nights with an odd turmoil disturbing my peaceful and boring daylife routine. All of you, dear weirdos, know of my recent (last of now) crush on actor Emile Hirsch. Maybe you have read my article and seen my fan-videos. Well, my crush was an inch of being ruined, unfortunately in cause of my "democratic" rule of behaviour, on-line and off-line (although thanks God I haven't experienced such things probably since highschool in real life). I need to get this off my chest and hopefully to kiss valeriana goodbye for awhile.

I tried not to take sides in a battle that had started time before I even admitted Mr. Hirsch's charms to myself. I was relatively new when some fans made some decisions which I was totally neutral about. But I simply conceded to listen to the other confronting part, only listening and trying to look for a bit of truth since this part claimed that decision as unfair. When someone approaches me (several times) and claims there's been an injustice, and although I refused initially to answer this person because I knew it could cause me problems with the rest of fandom, I just listen to the reasons that they have to offer.

Well, that's what I did, I listened to a person who wanted to explain what had happened according to her version. I'm sorry to say all this derived in me being terribly misunderstood by both parts, because sometimes the good actions tend to be punished. This rocky issue added to some more typical problems I had put up with at home, have masked my mood with a semi-depression, but I couldn't say to anyone I felt bad.

So I want to end this private self-pity rambling anti-party giving a little advice:

Be careful of wanting to be fair. In our time, that's just wasting precious bandwith, and the results will invariably disappoint you. It's a shame I didn't know the game better at this point, but I guess that total indifference isn't my style. And it's hard pretending to be what you are not.


rosadimaggio63 said...


Xenia said...

I hear you girl. *Hugs*

My two cents are: crushes are for joy and possibly fun, not pain they're often an escape from.
So don't let people distract you from your purpose. :)

Kendra said...

that's what I wonder myself, Rosa: ??
your two cents are "on the money", Xenia! thanks ;)

I'm still a bit struck because so far I always could reason and I felt we were forgetting the fans should get along and enjoy together.

clairex said...

Sorry to hear that you had bad things happening lately, Kendra. But venting off is good, I hope you feel better :)

Kendra said...

thank you very much, Claire ;)
There have been hard times, and I got overwhelmed by these circumstances, but as they say every cloud has a silver lining.