Kiss Me Donnie

Cook Teasing

This anonymous angry poster in The Gilded Moose wasn't my boyfriend, I swear, although I understand some masculine egos are being threatened by a guy who charts the Top of Sexy Rankings and can cook!, it's like an offense to the average male who is useless at kitchen and only sexy in Saturday night when playoff is over.
Jake Gyllenhaal says the way to a woman's heart is to cook her a romantic dinner and as alternative: "If I could impress her with a striptease, I would." Source
Well, in the case he chooses Plan B, he can take notes down in his agendum from these gals about hotdogs and strippers:

The bad review girl

I'm proud of a new local TV station working in Aragon (Spain) where my brother and his girl live and work, so they could watch "The Good Girl" last Monday 18 September, and they loved it (probably she loved it more than my brother, because he doesn't like Jennifer Aniston too much but I've initiated her in the Jake). Aragonese people dig Jake Gyllenhaal in excessive quantities, too. I've been reading a negative review towards the film by Lisa Schwarzbaum (Entertainment Weekly) and I'll explain why I disagree with her:

"Bored with her marriage to a lunkish, pothead, housepainter husband (John C. Reilly), Justine falls briefly for a sensitive but disturbed younger fellow employee (Jake Gyllenhaal, specialist in Holden Caulfield types), and the likable Aniston walks the part with a carefully practiced shuffle of despair. She speaks with a carefully practiced twang."

Come on, it's practically impossible falling briefly for someone as Jake/Holden.

"'I saw in your eyes that you hate the world. I hate it too'' one Retail Rodeo loser tells another, although anyone with the ability to articulate such observations clearly has more resources for success than this movie has use for. ''The Good Girl'' only pretends to care about good people who sometimes do bad things. In fact, it hasn't got time for the pain."

Well, I'm afraid many people, maybe too many, have the ability to articulate incredible smart observations about life while they are victimised brutally by society's repressor forces. And almost every script line is full of ad-lib humdrum painful or funny comments in a natural, non contrived way.

Win a Visit on set!

I was informed by Simon Agent of this interesting auction in benefit of the ACLU in which Jake participates, so you are still on time to bid for a meeting on set with the "Weirdo" heartthrob if your bank accounts are solvent or have recently inherited. Source

Actor Jake Gyllenhaal has generously contributed a once in a lifetime auction item, the chance to visit the set of one of his movies, and to have lunch with him to this auction benefitting the ACLU of Southern California! Transportation and accommodations are not included. We will work with the winning bidder to schedule the visit on a mutually acceptable date. The item includes a signed poster of Gyllenhaal's film Donnie Darko. The poster is signed It's a Mad World, and measures 27" x 40". There is slight wrinkling along the right side. [...]
The minimum bid is $2,000. Buyer will pay actual shipping charges to be determined after the auction based on weight and destination. All items will be shipped using USPS Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation, plus signature for items $250 and over. Insurance for the item is to be paid by the buyer, and will be based upon the winning bid of the item. California residents will also be charged 8.25% sales tax based on the final bid amount. If the winning bidder wishes to pay additional charges, we would be happy to use an alternate delivery service such as , Federal Express, or UPS.

Some pictures of Jake on "Jarhead" and "Zodiac" sets:

Cardigan Man walking

-Pull Over!
-No, it's a Cardigan.

Jake as Harold after festival

Hope Davis as Catherine's estranged sister, Gwyneth Paltrow as Catherine and Jake Gyllenhaal as Harold Dobbs in "Proof".
Catherine: Harold Dobbs exists.
Claire: I'm sure he does.
Catherine: He's a mathematician at the University of Chicago. Call the freaking math department.
Claire: Do you wanna stay in Chicago?
Catherine: I don't know.
Claire: Chicago is dead. New York is so much more fun.

If you scroll down to the bottom of this previous post you can download "Via Chicago" song live by Wilco.

Musically I am not much into John Mayer, but as he recently was in Jake's orbit and "rollingstoned", for the fans here is his last record: "Continuum" (2006) and as dessert, a "Little Miss Sunshine" review by Strange Culture and "Little Miss Sunshine" soundtrack.

Take your Jake's lover test

Winner type: Cuddly type.
There aren't too many jealousy issues in Jake Weird's readers, our Agents base is on shape, a few suspicious and scratchers folks and no bitch here. We are sane enough!

I fell for the drummer

Jake, the hot maths teacher drummer wannabe.

A crazy Muppet drummer and...

Glenn Kotche, the fascinating Wilco's drummer.

"HEAVY METAL DRUMMER"

"I sincerely miss those heavy metal bands
I used to go see on the landing in the summer
She fell in love with the drummer
She fell in love with the drummer
She fell in love

Shiny, shiny pants and bleach-blond hair
A double kick drum by the river in the summer
She fell in love with the drummer
Another and another
She fell in love

I miss the innocence I've known
Playing KISS covers, beautiful and stoned

Unlock my body and move myself to dance
Moving warm liquid, flowing blowing glass
Classical music blasting masks the ringing in my ears

I sincerely miss those heavy metal bands
I used to go see on the landing in the summer
She fell in love with the drummer
She fell in love with another
She fell in love

I miss the innocence I've known
Playing KISS covers, beautiful and stoned
Playing KISS covers, beautiful and stoned
Playing KISS covers, beautiful and stoned" (by Wilco)

A signed charity bone

"Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump, John Travolta and Jake Gyllenhaal are among 40 celebrities who have signed wooden "dog bones" for a charity auction benefiting the Mississippi Animal Rescue League.
The celeb-signed bones will be auctioned off Thursday at the organization's second annual Fur Ball event. Proceeds will go to constructing a new animal shelter, said Allison Nutt, a MARL board member and chairman of the Fur Ball event committee."
Source

The Slacker Test

You Are 44% Slacker

You are a bit of a slacker - though you can pull it together and live a somewhat normal life. If you're young, this is probably phase you'll outgrow. And if you're already grown up, you need to get off the couch a bit more!

Are You a Slacker?

Jimmy and Jakey

Well, the pictures talk by themselves, but I want to remark that my favourite film of James Dean is "East of Eden" (1955 by Elia Kazan), based on the John Steinbeck's novel. The most shocking scene is no doubt the confrontation of Cal (James Dean) with his father Adam Trask, the way Cal is rejected is a prodigious moment in cinema: “You're bad, through and through, bad,” and Cal replies: "You're right. I am bad. I knew that for a long time... It's true", but my prefered part of the movie is the conversation James Dean has with Abra (Julie Harris) on the "Ferris wheel", when Abra confides to Cal that she thinks she isn't good enough for Aron. Their intimate conversation leads to a kiss, but then she pulls back immediately:
"I love Aron, I do, really I do" hurting Cal deep down.
Their previous conversations are really memorable too. Julie Harris gave me a slight impression to Jena Malone's Gretchen, a frail woman, not buxom at all, who is flawed but is still romantic.

John Mayer connection

Lance Armstrong, John Mayer and Jake G.
 
YOUR BODY IS A WONDERLAND
"We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

And if you want love
We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be awhile

Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

You want love?
We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be awhile

Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland

Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes

Your body is a wonderland (I'll never speak again)
Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland (I'll never speak again)
Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands)

I'm never speaking up again
Now there's no reason
I've got the kind of love in my hands
To last all season

Da da dup ba da da da" (by John Mayer)
possibly dedicated to our Jake? I'd add. 

The Jealousy Test

Okay, weird people also feel waves and cramps of jealousy in their psyches from time to time. Specially girls are supposed to be more jealous towards another females, more beautiful or more successful. I guess all this is normal, while it doesn't end in a premeditated homicide against the fortunate biatch who managed to get slimmer or win a juicy contract withouth having studied half than us. Well, I took my test, and no big surprise, I'm not jealous at all... And no, I swear I haven't forced my answers this time. My female friends always commented me that maybe I didn't show serious jealousy because I didn't show any emotion either, but maybe they were wrong and jealous and I'm cooler, hehe. Well I would like you spend one minute to take this test and find out what kind of jealous girl/guy you are. Perhaps many fans who are thinking 24/7 in Jake cannot stomach some of his exs, as Kirsten, since she got more intimicy with the coveted male. I won't lie, before of my happy relationship with my future husband, I felt more mad, but frankly I don't think Jake and me would make a great couple, I cannot surf, I'm not a sports person, I don't like so much cyclist spandex and probably my English isn't good enough... I prefer Jake as an actor than Kirsten, but I realise that she has built a prolific career. I have never fully understood as many hysterical girls hating an actress when they would probably do exactly the same in many occasions, and judge her as a rival, when they are living in a society dominated by more dangerous rivals, so these women perpetuate a vicious circle of misogyny just because they want to fuck an inexplicably handsome man and cannot.

Not a Jealous Bone in Your Body

You're secure, trusting, and giving with friends and lovers And while you may have been hurt before, you've bounced back You're generally happy with your life - and no one's grass is greener than yours One word of caution: some may see your lack of jealousy as indifference!

Are You Jealous?

Dorky resemblances

"In Jake I believe I found that. He's a dork. That's what I love about him." and
“Maybe I'm a weird girl and I just needed a good freak to match me.“ -Kirsten Dunst quotes